U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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