She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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