Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
