I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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