I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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