I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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