I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
