Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
