her vagine was all disorganized.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
