i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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