Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
