I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
