Just fell off a train. Bad.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
