the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize