if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
