I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
