I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
