i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
