i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
