K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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