Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
