Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
