Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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