did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
