she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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