I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
