people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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