i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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