How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
