does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
