What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
