....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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