Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
