I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
