Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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