He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
