cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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