Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
