kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
