Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize