went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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