Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
