So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
