so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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