Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
