We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
