Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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