I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
