susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
