I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
