it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
