U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
