They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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