did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
