this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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