is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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