Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
