You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
