just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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