Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
