that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
