All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
