A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
